Zero Willpower

Had a good day.  A viewing on the house this afternoon, which meant that my house was in pristine condition for at least for two hours, until the kids got in.

On the diet front, I’ve been very good and ate to the Weight Watchers plan all day, then ruined it by scoffing special fried rice and curry sauce from the Chinese – I blame Dorty for putting the idea in my head.  Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Blobby

After hearing how people seem to be going to the gym a lot, have decided to get a bit fitter and lose some weight in order to look fabulous in a bikini.  Have dug my weight-watchers books out and wrote my shopping list.  Went on my Thigh Trainer, struggled to get to 100, then collapsed and pondered how the hell I got into this mess.  I don’t want much – to look like Greta Scaachi would be acceptable, especially as I have been compared with her in the past (well, ok, fairly distant past) although taking into account that she is nearly ten years older than me.  I have also been told I look like Jane Torville (maybe not so happy with that one) and one ‘friend’ even said I looked like Angela Lansbury (hopefully she meant a very young Angela Lansbury, not the Murder She Wrote version).

Or I could do the bikini body diet.  Y’know, just put a bikini on my body.

Bribery and Corruption

Took Dorty shopping today.  She’s doing her mocks and is miserable (well, she’s a teenager so that’s normal!) so I thought treating her to some new stuff would cheer her up.  Came back with bags and bags of stuff, which cheered her up for about an hour before she took herself off to bed with a headache.  Honestly, youngsters today have no stamina!

Love you the mostist

Been confronted by outraged Dorty about referring to Sonny as a genius.  Feel it’s time to say how proud I am of her – proud of you. Dorty, love you more than the world, jealous that you’ve got a bass guitar, and got style etc etc.  Really.  Love you.

Dancing Queens

Had a fab fab fab time with Paula last night.  O’Neill’s in Beckenham, dancing with the ADHD crowd.  Not sure why some of them look at me as if I’m mad!  Also seemed to be a lot of blokes in white t-shirts (geddit now, Paula?).  Then back home for cheese on toast.  Utterly fantastic.

YouTube

I’ve got so much to do – I’m drowning in paperwork!  So, of course, I have spent the day nosing through YouTube.

Mike Flowers singing Wonderwall…. Weird Al singing Amish Paradise, and Fat.  DCLugi is hilarious, especially the Snakes on a Plane auditions.  Mad.

Ellen DeGeneres Eat Your Heart Out

Have just been informed that the karaoke bar we landed in on Saturday is a gay bar.  That explains a lot.

Einstein & Crime

My son is a genius – really, a genius.  I’ve just come upstairs to get him off the computer and into bed and have discovered that his latest powerpoint presentation is in German.  German!  Although, it’s too bad he can’t speak English.

Death by Ford Zetec

I have come to the conclusion that old people are dangerous.  Very dangerous.  They pull out on me in their cars, without even looking, and don’t even think to look in their mirrors to see how much I am swerving to avoid them.  It’s the same when crossing the road – they approach it, and don’t hesitate – straight across and bugger everyone else.  Never mind that I’ve been signalling to turn left for the past half a mile.  Maybe they’ve lost all mobility in their necks so can’t look behind them.   Or maybe they want to die – care and money for the elderly sucks nowadays so I can’t blame them – although I can think of better ways to go.  Being squashed under the wheels of a Ford Zetec really doesn’t have any street cred whatsoever.

Angelar Superstar

On Saturday, the plan was to go to O’Neill’s in Beckenham (that’s Beck-en-haam – say it with feeling) for St Patrick’s Day.  The queue was horrendous so drove around until we  found a funny little place in Crystal Palace (cafe by day/pub by night) where the drinks were cheap – hey, isn’t there a song about that?

A karaoke machine was sitting innocuously in the corner… fast forward a few hours….. me hogging the mike, singing Bon Jovi and Pink Floyd tunes, ‘giving it’ bigtime.  Never realised my voice was so bad – I don’t understand it – I always sound so fab in the car.