I wanted Christmas Day to be as comfortable as possible for everyone so I decided to make the smokers smoke outside this year (pub rules y’know). But it was raining. What to do? So, there was me on Christmas morning, pawing through my ‘shed’ (spider-ridden cubby-hole), raincoat over my head, in search of my large garden umbrella. I must say, it worked rather well and looked rather posh. Everyone was glad to stay dry and my house stayed smelling of Christmas, rather than an old ashtray. Unfortunately, in putting it down later, I hadn’t realised just how much rain those umbrellas hold, and where my neck would be.