Hands up who hates lofts?  I simply can’t go up there without sneaking my hand up and quickly flicking the light on.  And even then I’m a scaredy pants.  Unfortunately I was forced to go up there today to investigate why there was water peeing out of my overflow.  After inspecting all the dark corners very carefully, I ventured into the loft proper.  Only to discover the cold water in my tank is now hot.  Well, I suppose it is Halloween.  Thankfully, the water is still draining down the sink in a clockwise motion, Damien hasn’t appeared, and we don’t live in a hotel with Jack Nicholson.  Otherwise we would be in deep doo-doo.  But there’s still no way in hell I’m going back up there.
Mr British Gas Man, after you….

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