Education for Men

Dear Men of Beckenham
Number 1:  Just because I have spikey black hair,  I am NOT a lesbian.
Number 2:  Just because I like dancing with my gorgeous female friend, occasionally suggestively, I am still not a lesbian.
Number 3:  Just because I am displaying not the slightest bit of interest in you, I am still definitely not a lesbian.  Get over it.
Number 4:  Grabbing a woman’s hands and pretending you are pedalling a bicycle is not dancing – and I am not a bicycle.
Number 5:  Suddenly rubbing yourself against a woman’s ass is not going to help you pull.  Be prepared to lose your toes to a stiletto heel.
Number 6:  If you rudely push past anyone to get to the bar, you will probably find your knee giving way from behind – note: this will probably happen once you’re actually carrying your drinks that you’ve just paid for.
Number 7:  Swarthy men in particular – no means no.
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