Blimey, haven’t been here for ages… but hey, it’s not as if anyone actually reads this!
Anyway, the now-divorced ex-husband is getting married! He has met a woman who is willing to take him on. Apparently she is very nice…. BUT she has exactly the same name as Dorty*… EXACTLY. And it’s not a common spelling. I have been told (by NDEH, now known as Jammy Git) that Prospective Wife No 2 did very well out of her divorce settlement and kept her five bedroom house, blah blah. Well, that makes me feel GREAT for splitting everything with JG so fairly.
At least some things don’t change – JG still knows how to treat a lady. A wedding booked for 9/11 and a wedding night at the local Travelodge. Class.
*obviously not her real name
This will be the last mention of the VSTBEH* as he is tedious and I am extremely bored by it all. However, another ‘cosmos’ moment springs to mind.
After all the grief the VSTBEH has given my new man, he has now found himself a Possible New Girlfriend (I know.. I’m flabbergasted.. really.. I mean.. huh??). Anyway, the PNG turns out to have….. a Psycho STBEH all of her very own!
I know I shouldn’t laugh.. but….
Happy New Year!
* Very Soon To Be Ex Husband
I think I have mystical powers! At the very moment of posting the last post saying what a git the SPSTBEH * has been, he was being run over! There were earlier reports of him having a broken hip, which were wildly exaggerated (by him), but he is just bruised and feeling extremely sorry for himself. He managed to save his kebab though.
Ah, the balance of the cosmos is restored.
*Stupid pissed soon to be ex husband
Yes, I know, I know. I haven’t posted for ages. Mainly because I am a lazy moo and I have been having too much ‘fun’ out in the ‘real’ world. I use the word lightly because any ‘fun’ I do have is tempered with the STBEH’s tantrums. Honestly, the more favours I do the bloke, the more grief I get in the earhole. Subjects that set him off are… me. And me. And anything to do with me. Especially if that involves me having any kind of a life.
Anyone got an unwanted nightmare of an ex-wife available for a pairing-up??
I’ve always liked bees. They make honey and if they sting you they die. So obviously it’s not something they set out to do. However…
Faced with a swarm in my back garden I took the only option out – I fled shrieking into the house and slammed all the windows shut, peering round the blinds in abject terror, replaying a thousand horror films in my head.
They have now taken up residence on the Green outside my house – yes, that’s RIGHT outside my house – forming a kind of living carpet of bees.
And I had to shout at some of the local chavvies for poking them with a stick. Because if they decide to attack, my house is nearest.
Those of you I actually talk to with an actual telephone, or actually see to actually talk to, will know that my STB Ex-Hubby has been ‘temporarily’ staying on my sofa while his flat purchase goes through.
This has presented so many problems (of the normally unimportant kind, but when you add them all together….grrr) but I think I have handled the situation with aplomb. Mostly. Well, he hasn’t tried to kill me while I sleep, and I’ve only screamed at him twice.
They say patience is a virtue but sod virtuous. Where’s the fun?
I want to thank everyone for your support during this irritating time. I really don’t know how I would have got through it, especially considering the ‘temporary’ stay has lasted EIGHT MONTHS so far. Thank you, thank you. You will all be invited to the ‘Thank F**k He’s Gone’ Party. As usual, clothes optional.
I’ve got a rather ‘large’ birthday looming tomorrow but, despite this depressing aspect, I’ve had a fab time so far. I met different friends each day for birthday lunches and shopping last week, and had a lovely time in rainy Brighton this weekend – gay men heaven! To the extent that the hen parties we saw looked rather… limp.
I’ve had family over today and am rather squiffy after squaffing champagne. I’ve had a great time and feel very loved indeed. And I’ve got some fantastic prezzies too.
Happy Birthday to Me!